Unnecessary fight
Will I be able to overcome this..
In the car my mother and grandmother started to fight about something unnecessary, my grandmother started to cry and I horrible. What can I do to help? I could not to a thing to stop this. I started to cry myself and I felt like a awful person. My mother and grandmother started to scream in the car and accused each other and I couldn't take it anymore I cried and took my grandmothers hand and she held my hand.
I was hoping that we could crash into a car and die because I felt like that was the only solution. I felt a death wish and I don't know who I shall believe.. my mother or my grandmother? I feel spoiled and betrayed right now.
However this wasn't my fault, nothing of it but It felt like I was the problem. Recenty I haven't felt good at all I have been kind of down emotionally. I hate when people fight and I hate when something like this happens.
My feelings in the car was unspeakable I felt sad because my grandmother is old and she have to take care of herself and sometimes we fight but I love her and I don't ever want anything to harm her. I also love my mom but It felt really unnecessary to yell at grandmother like that, they could have discuss this like a normal family instead of screaming, crying and ignoring each other.
I wanted to crash into an other car and die while the others could have survived, I also wanted to jump out from the car but I couldn't becaue I'm such a nuisance because I can't really move my leg. My life hasn't felt so necssary during this period, I've been afully sick and now I'm kind of handicap.
While I was hospitalized I also felt a death wish, I have been doing that really much lately. I am just feeling good when I am doing things or begin in school becaue I can get away from all the problems and just be myself with my friend and learn new things I can share to others!
Sorry for this post but this is like my public diary and I have to express myself here.
Here is a song I often listen to and remember how disgraceful my life can be times to times.